Tribute

DISCLAIMER: This blog may contain elements of potty humor.

This blog is a tribute to the greatest, most under-appreciated piece of hardware in your household: the toilet lever. Day in and day out it dutifully bends to the will of your fingers, making your flushing experience the most pleasant it can be. As one small piece of metal molded in a basic shape (although maybe yours is shaped like a dolphin or a golf club) it holds so much power. Power enough to suck 1.6 liters of water through a small hole in a very rapid swirling motion. Yet you, most dutiful toilet lever, in your final days were detaching from your post and sticking. Truly it was a sign of old age. And today of all days, oh toilet lever, you met your fate. Who could have known that right after the toilet was flushed you would slip out of your owner's hands as he was attempting to keep you on your post. And who could have known that in the ensuing tumble you would bounce right into the swirling toilet bowl. And, oh, who could have known that you would be sucked right down the hole along with everything else. But you fell honorably and you didn't even clog up the toilet; you just swirled right on down. In the blink of an eye you were no more. But, just as a fish who has seen its final day, you met your fate with honor and dignity, and you engraved in your owner's mind how important you really are. Moreover will I sing of your wondrous and mighty flushing power for generations to come.

Surprise!

I've decided recently that attempting some sort of surprise for my wife only ends up in her learning about it before it's supposed to happen. Right before Thanksgiving I had made reservations at a small bed and breakfast in the area for a suprise night out. The place called my cell to confirm, but I was in class so I called them back when I got home. Unfortunately, I had to leave a message then and told them to call back. They didn't call back of course until the next morning at 8 AM when I was still in bed and Melissa was getting ready for work. So, there went surprise number one (and it was so good!) Then, for Christmas this year we decided that we were only going to get one gift for each other, which, if you've ever done that, puts extra pressure on for finding that perfect gift. Well, I found my perfect gift and wrapped it up and threw the box for it in my trunk because the box would have given away what sort of thing the gift was. However, I quickly forgot that the box resided in my trunk, and on this past Sunday we were loading Christmas cookies to take to our small group, when I opened the trunk and beheld the loathsome box sitting right in plain view. It took me a few seconds to remember what the box was for, but soon I had that gut-wrenching feeling in my stomach and that utterly defeated look on my face. Melissa looked at the box, then at me, and then bust up laughing as I slammed the trunk shut. It wasn't too hard for her to miss the larger-than-life letters spelling out Zappos.com.

In other news, this past week started finals along with summoning the due date of several of my grad school applications. Needless to say, it has been stressful, but more tedious to fill out all of the applications (probably because I'm applying to nine schools!). My goal is to be done with all of them by Dec. 22 when we head up north to the frozen tundra for some holiday cheer with family for a week or so. I only actually have four left to do and endless amounts of freetime now that school's done so I'm not expecting any problems. It will be a great burden off of my shoulders once they are done.